Donald Trump Is So Smart, He Don’t Need Intelligence
Initially, we were a bit apprehensive about leaving this Friday for our annual Winter Break, due to the state of world affairs since the election of Donald Trump. But over the weekend, we were forced to conclude President-elect Donald Trump is really a genius. When it was reported by reliable sources that President-elect Trump intended to keep his day jobs of producing his reality TV show and monitoring his worldwide business interests, while running the world in his spare time, we had to admit this blathering bloviator may be a brainiac in disguise. Besides, anybody claiming to know more than the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency has to know more than us, so we feel comfortable placing you in good hands until we return. Well, that’s not exactly true. But if you give us a minute, we’ll explain things the way we usually do.
Can you imagine how smart you’d have to be to seek out, interview and select advisors and cabinet members, as well as all other essential staffing necessary to take charge of the free world, while simultaneously keeping a hand in the day to day operations of the New Celebrity Apprentice TV show? The average person would have a difficult time choosing between calling a press conference and planning an appearance on his/her own wildly popular reality program. But not Donald Trump. He’s got his priorities in order. He’s thinking of the ratings. He’s thinking of the commercial value. Donald Trump may be thinking of combining his New Celebrity Apprentice appearances with his official White House press conferences. Who wouldn’t watch that? He knows the press would lap it up because they’d have no choice. It’s either that or the midnight Tweets. Genius!
Can you imagine how smart you’d have to be to think you can handle the challenges of the U.S. Presidency without listening to anyone or anything but your own gut? Imagine the grey matter you’d have to possess to be able to tell the world’s foremost intelligence gathering operation that based on its track record, you could do a better job. And maybe Donald Trump is right. Think about it, the CIA is comprised primarily of government employees and we all know what proponents of the private sector think of “The Government”. “The Government” can’t do anything right. After all, wasn’t it Donald Trump who sent his own team of private investigators to Hawaii to find out if Barack Obama was really born in the United States? Didn’t he do this personally, because the United States government, with all its resources, was incapable of verifying someone’s citizenship? Maybe Trump “The Know it All” will wanna completely privatize intelligence gathering in the future. Think that through. And why not, Donald Trump has gotten away with just about everything else so far. Again genius.
Can you imagine how smart Donald Trump must think he is to believe he can replicate the Carrier air conditioning company deal thousands of times all over the country without Congress passing the complicated and controversial legislation to legitimize the inherent protectionism? Donald Trump would have to be a super brain, because if better tax incentives, lower labor costs and fewer restrictions and regulations can achieve higher profits elsewhere, mid-sized and larger businesses like Carrier will want to pull up stakes no matter how many blue collar Trumpanzees will be left in their wake. And there are thousands of mid-sized and larger companies that fit the Carrier profile. We know, they’ve been leaving for these reasons for decades. However, being the genius that he is, Donald Trump has a plan for the inevitable push-back from growth minded companies with global ambitions and shareholder responsibilities.
If you think this deal master hasn’t anticipated and prepared to counter offers made by competing nations and emerging markets to keep U.S. manufacturers coming their way, you’d be wise to think again. One need only review how many times President-elect Trump insisted Americans make too much for this country to remain competitive with other labor markets around the world. As far as Donald Trump is concerned, the fastest way to kick start and grow the economy is to cut corporate taxes to 15% and control wages. In Trump’s view, American businesses pay the government way too much in taxes, while they’re forced to pay their employees way too much in wages. To raise the federal wage to $15 per hour would have catastrophic consequences for American business, according to the brilliance of Trump-onomics.
Bottom line: The world should be confident and comforted to know all of humankind’s future lies in the hands of a man of such boundless intellect. Donald Trump – a multi-talented mastermind capable of absorbing thousands of terabits of global data in a millisecond, entirely though osmosis, with the ability to analyze it for the purpose of providing the perfect solutions to the most complicated issues facing the planet. Let’s face it, this man must be a genius if he can convince American workers to toil like Bangladeshi seamstresses and migrant tomato pickers for peanuts, just to make America great again. Podcast below.