Issues Under Fire: dOOBIE Was Arrested!
Your suspicions are warranted for questioning the absence of Issues Under Fire for the balance of this holiday week. Considering the staff here at RetroVision Media is comprised of professional slackers, loungers, loafers and malingers, you probably wont believe us when we’re forced to report, our dog Doobie was arrested last night for driving without a license, while under the influence of a controlled substance.
Normally, we’d have let the dog get himself out his predicament, but when the cops charged Doobie with possession of a firearm, possession of drugs with intent to sell, possession of stolen property, assaulting an officer and resisting arrest, it was clear Doobie needed an attorney. Knowing Doobie has never used anything but a straight razor in a fight, it was obvious the cops was fitting the mutt for a frame up.
Upon arrival at night court (in the wee hours of the morning) to bail Doobie out, we were told he’d been belligerent, as he’d cursed out and spit on every officer that tired to engage him. This was a charge we couldn’t defend, as Doobie has quite a reputation for having a filthy mouth. And, it was that mouth that got his bail upped, when the arresting officer told the judge Doobie threatened to make him his bitch if he didn’t back the “F” off.
Still, after being up all night, we had every intention of doing our scheduled edition of Issues Under Fire today. Unfortunately, that son of a bitch got so pissed off because he had to agree to wear an ankle monitor and six months of probation, he ate our notes for today’s podcast. No bullshit!
BTW, just below is another episode of Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe entitled The Bum’s Rush. Issues Under Fire will return Monday. No Really!