Hillary Clinton’s Political Obituary
In our haste to move things along, we want to quickly wrap up a few loose ends leftover from America’s bizarre 2016 elections. And since Bill and Hillary Clinton have finally been politically defanged and no longer a drag on the Progressive agenda, we thought this was the perfect time to write our final chapter. BTW, we take no pleasure in dissecting the demise of Hillary Clinton or “HER” slimy hubby, Slick Willie, for that matter. It’s just that failing to properly close this story would be tantamount to telling a joke and omitting the punch line. That said, let’s get started.
It was listening to Hillary Clinton blame FBI Director James Comey for stealing “HER” thunder in a conference call to a group of disappointed donors, that triggered further interest and analysis of “HER” political and professional future. Hearing “HER” explaining to donors who’d raised more than $100,000 each about what went wrong, left this observer with the impression of someone desperately trying to salvage their value as a paid speaker, since another run for political office is highly unlikely. And bluntly speaking, once off the political stage for good, Hillary Clinton will lose “HER” access to influence. And without access to influence, Hillary Clinton won’t have anything to peddle. Thus, she has significantly diminished “HER” value.
We found further evidence of “HER” efforts to dodge any and all responsibility for the campaign’s failed message and messenger, when Clinton’s senior campaign spokesperson, Karen Finney, resurfaced after the devastating loss – presumably to spin a palatable perspective. She failed miserably. When queried, Ms. Finney blamed sexism, the FBI, the Russians, Jill Stein, Gary Johnson and changes to the Voting RIghts Act for the disastrous outcome. If time permitted, we’re certain Ms. Finney would’ve blamed the misalignment of the sun, moon and stars, but thankfully CNN had to go to a commercial break.
Still, during the entire interview, Ms. Finney refrained from uttering one single word concerning what the campaign or Hillary Clinton could’ve or should’ve done differently that may have made a difference. Not one word. It was like those who tried defending “HER” vote to invade Iraq, when Clinton was taking forever to admit she’d done so in error. And BTW, Ms. Finney isn’t alone in marketing this delusional political analysis. Despite the fact that Hillary Clinton stares at the reason she lost the election in the mirror every morning, she’s got surrogates and loyal lackeys out selling similar cockamamie theories to deflect the glaring shortcomings of an overrated, uninspiring candidate, pitching obsolete ideas. So what do you say? Case closed? Roll credits? Fade to black? One would think. But not so fast.
Normally, we’d call this dame done and move on, but we’re not sure if Donald Trump is quite done with “HER” yet. President elect Donald Trump led his supporters in chants of Lock “HER” Up, Lock “HER” Up, Lock “HER” Up. He created a lynch mob mentality among some of America’s angriest political extremist. These people are out for blood now. They’re not interested in moving on and letting bygones be bygones. These people want what they were promised and Donald Trump may be forced to deliver. When the rabid Right realizes the millions of middle class jobs Donald Trump promised were no more than a promise that’ll never materialize, he’s gonna have to throw them some red meat. And that red meat may very well be “HER” fat ass. No seriously. Losing the election may not be the worse thing that could’ve happened to “HER”. Hillary Clinton’s worse woes may be just beginning.
When asked by 60 Minutes’ Leslie Stahl if he would pursue the Clintons with a special prosecutor in the future, Donald Trump left the door wide open to allowing an investigation into allegations of the Clinton Foundation being a criminal enterprise used for marketing access and influence to foreign entities. Sure, Trump did say the Clinton’s were good people and he didn’t want to hurt them, but he also said “I’ll give you a very, very good and definitive answer the next time we do another 60 Minutes together”. That answer had to be unnerving, to say the least, because by our measure, Donald Trump is a madman. He could walk into the Oval Office one day and order “HIS” FBI and “HIS” Attorney General to trigger enough investigations to keep the Clintons up nights worrying for the rest of their natural lives. Now that’s one way to turn one’s golden years into bronze.
Bottom line: One can only imagine what Thanksgiving dinner at the Clinton’s will be like this year with both Hillary and Bill’s futures resting in the hands of a twisted, vindictive, egomaniacal lunatic under pressure. Perhaps President Obama should consider a presidential pardon on his last day in office just to be on the safe side. While the indignity of going out in such a dramatic and historic fashion would surpass even that of Richard M. Nixon, at least Barack Obama could keep Donald Trump from toying with the Clintons as he watches them sweat just for the fun of it. Once again, we’ve taken no pleasure in chronicling the causes of Hillary Clinton’s downfall, but it had to be done and it had to be done right. Podcast below.