Get your Hurricane Sandy Coverage Here! No place else on the internet or any mainstream media outlet will you find the angles we pursue or the creative means of delivering the alternative views. That being said, lets have some fun!
In what was shaping up as a boring political showdown (well as far as we were concerned anyway) Hurricane Sandy showed up in the nick of time to create some real excitement. From dozens of homes burning out of control in the middle of a storm system blasting gale force winds to spread the horror, to a city paralyzed by a crane dangling perilously 70 plus stories above cowering authorities, this is a made for TV event. Helpless to do anything other than keeping onlookers at bay, someone could put out a call for Superman.
President Obama, Commander in Chief have taken control of events, by preparing the nation for the inevitable devastation Hurricane Sandy will leave in His/Her wake. If ever government had to perform like a Super Hero, now is the that time.
Unfortunately, the president is locked in a battle against the “Evil Rich Guy” for the future of the free world. Already blaming President Obama for being reactive, Mitt Romney says Mother Nature is a threat to national security and should be dealt with accordingly. It should be noted, Mr. Romney carefully avoided calling Mother Nature the “Bitch” that she is, fearing a backlash from women voters.
We’ve obtained audio confirming a mad crazy Romney rant, we ‘ll simply paraphrase as “If I were in the Oval Office, a President Romney would have been proactive in defending America’s eastern-seaboard. Mother Nature should have been placed on a list of known terrorist to be tracked down wherever she sought refuge.”
A preemptive policy of engagement would have had overwhelming U.S. navel forces meeting Hurricane Sandy in international waters before US shores could be breached. To simply wait on the sidelines with fresh water, hot meals and a dry bed until Mother Nature attacks America is unacceptable.
A Romney administration would eliminate Mother Nature from planet earth once and for all. Anyone found aiding and abetting Mother Nature would also be deemed a terrorist and dealt with accordingly.
In the Situation Room, concerned Romney’s plan to battle the forces of nature could gather steam in the late stages of the campaign, White House officials are prepared to activate local hero doubling as Mayor of Newark New Jersey Cory Booker. Ever since Mayor Booker saved a woman from a burning house and been rumored to have battled crime to a virtual stalemate in the crime prone city, he’s been a secrete weapon of the White House.
We have sources willing to confirm Mayor Booker is ready to scale the 80 story skyscraper, repair and secure the damaged crane and complete the construction project should the president make the request. Romney’s plan to battle the forces of nature